Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I used to feel guilty about my hardships in life. I knew other people had been through worse things than me, so I didn't feel like I deserved to be upset about my situation. Eventually I realized this is toxic. Problems aren't a competition; my issues came inside the-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
context and experience of my own life, and it was okay to be upset about my problems, no matter much worse other people had it. Similarly, it's okay for other people to be upset about their problems even if we consider them very fortunate by comparison. When we judge the lucky,-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
we implicitly judge ourselves as being unworthy of the pain we feel as compared to those less fortunate than ourselves. We're engaging in a pain competition, where pain is distributed across a society as a limited resource instead of honored individually as a legit experience.
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Sweet Rockall
@plainsnailing
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I might reckon that the recognition is awarded based on how one might develop tolerances for higher suffering. It is the trait of robust mental health, or alternatively, the mark of a masochist-stoicist. To those that levy challenges in the sphere of pain, what might one say?
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Buttons McBoomboom
@Sandwich_Smith
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
We can both be right here. Certainly people obsessed w/ "inequality" are detrimental to these conversations, but your initial thought was about the perception of the material, & we can't dismiss the difference the material makes in terms of how we're all reasonably perceived.
jet
@troofzero
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
one part of your life is better than one part of my life how dare you feel pain you must only ever be forever grateful and never talk about it lest you remind me on purpose probably, just lording it over i would do so much better if i had your pain let me tell everyone that
HughMannEffigy
@HughMannEffigy
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
This also the same thinking that gets us some pompous jackass telling us that people aren't poor if they own an Xbox, because poor people in other countries can't afford them. It's called the fallacy of relative privation.
Liberty
@SmallgovConserv
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Guilt is a never ending cycle. Enjoy the good things in your life and realize you deserve them. We all do. We weren't built for misery. Sometimes the poorest among us understand this better than others. It's more black and white for them.