I guess this depends on what you mean by your question, but personality traits feel like building blocks to a story; they are (usually?) not the story itself, they are a means by which the story is brought to life
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At least in this frame, an aggressive woman is taking on traits from the male story; she is *deviating* from her story, which is why we consider an aggressive woman to be doing something weird with gender. I think we're generally very tolerant of story deviations, but we-
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still frame it *as a story deviation*; the story is the background by which we understand how people act. Are they being a proper King, or a wimpy King?
I don't think I understand a lot of the modern discourse around gender, I suspect a lot of it is sloppy and inconsistent.
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But also I have the sense that I still don't know exactly what your question is; I'm sort of talking trying to figure out my thoughts on it here, but I don't know exactly what the crux is.
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Physical appearance? The things people expect from them based on their physical appearance? Their ability to breed? I'm a little confused - I don't think people popularly consider gender to be equal to personality.
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To clarify - in queer spaces they say gender is personality? So if you like soft things and people you're female, and if you like punching things and being a CEO then you're male? I'm a bit oversimplifying but I'm trying to clarify, is this how they view gender?