Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
1/When I was eight, I was molested. The experience wasn't scary or painful, just confusing and uncomfortable, because I didn't understand what was going on. After becoming an adult, I experienced a strong incentive to reinterpret what had happened to me as-
22
331
Aella
@Aella_Girl
2/traumatic. Sexual assault on children was considered to be one of the worst things that could happen, and if it happened to me, then it should have seriously fucked me up, right? I started to interpret problems in my life as having been caused by those childhood events.
3
130
Aella
@Aella_Girl
3/But after some time, I stopped doing that, because I realized I was trying to force a narrative. In reality, the experience I had as a child had very little, possibly no long-term adverse effects on me. The actual adverse effects came from other things - a sense of
2
165
Aella
@Aella_Girl
4/betrayal of adults who were supposed to had been more protective of me, and a serious awkwardness around the molester in later years. I feel a bit of fear saying all this, because THE IMPLICATIONS. Did I want it? Am I saying it wasn't serious? Am I minimizing? Am I delusional?
1
160
Aella
@Aella_Girl
5/No, yes, no, and no. I'm being honest about my experience. I also don't mean other people need to interpret their experiences the same way - but I DO recognize that culture seriously pressured me, with partial success, into experiencing suffering I wouldn't have had otherwise.
1
Retweet
302
Likes
Joe
@loveboof1
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Would you be ok with the thought of some other 8 year old girl experiencing exactly what you went through? If not, why? (Perhaps it affected you and your development more than you realise?)
1
Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@loveboof1
No, because the experience was uncomfortable, and I'd prefer other kids not go through uncomfortable experience. I'd also prefer them not go through a lot of other uncomfortable non-sexually oriented experiences that I had in childhood either.
1
Dr. Poop Muscles, PhD
@Space_Boy_Ben
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
People sure do enjoy believing all trauma is processed similarly. When my dad died, I didn't cry at the funeral (I'd cried plenty leading up to it and felt I had to be strong for my mom) but this was interpreted by several (not close) family members that I didn't love my dad.
1
1
Mustard of your doom
@windlashed
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I would *never* wish to dismiss or attempt to make light of an individual's trauma, but I do sometimes wonder how often past trauma (especially sexual trauma) results in socially pressured suffering like you describe.
1
Katertot💕
@madoka_magikate
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
This is really interesting... this reminds me of studies on how children feel/react to pain. Usually they are completely unfazed, or will look to an adult to see how they should react. If the adult seems scared or upset they will cry, and if the adult stays calm they will too
1
4
Izjn Lo
@lilAZNsand
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
There are indigenous people whom molest their young, but it’s conditionally loving in a tightnit community. Comparing to first world where the existential freedom holds to one self to be sacred as an individual to hold that trust to only strict preferences of power relationships