1/When I was eight, I was molested. The experience wasn't scary or painful, just confusing and uncomfortable, because I didn't understand what was going on. After becoming an adult, I experienced a strong incentive to reinterpret what had happened to me as-
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People sure do enjoy believing all trauma is processed similarly. When my dad died, I didn't cry at the funeral (I'd cried plenty leading up to it and felt I had to be strong for my mom) but this was interpreted by several (not close) family members that I didn't love my dad.
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I also dealt with many peers who couldn't believe I'd come back to school "so soon" (as if I really had a choice) and that if their parent had died, they wouldn't be able to do anything ever again. In any case I'm sorry people made you feel bad for not feeling bad enough about it
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I would *never* wish to dismiss or attempt to make light of an individual's trauma, but I do sometimes wonder how often past trauma (especially sexual trauma) results in socially pressured suffering like you describe.
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Clinical psychology tends to be most effective when an individual is given an opportunity to decide how they feel about something rather than being told they should feel a certain way. It's easy to leave destructive impressions on someone who has experienced something "bad".
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Same except I didn’t try to reinterpret my experience as traumatic. But it was always curious to me that it wasn’t.
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Very few people decouple their thoughts from their expectations. Most of those people had to endure some trauma to get there. I'm sorry that happened to you. But you have a mental freedom & clarity few others posses.
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This is really interesting... this reminds me of studies on how children feel/react to pain. Usually they are completely unfazed, or will look to an adult to see how they should react. If the adult seems scared or upset they will cry, and if the adult stays calm they will too
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*Something I heard once, upon further research I can't seem to find articles supporting this
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There are indigenous people whom molest their young, but it’s conditionally loving in a tightnit community. Comparing to first world where the existential freedom holds to one self to be sacred as an individual to hold that trust to only strict preferences of power relationships
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Thank you for sharing. I have often wondered if the culture you refer to can make it worse for some people, but don’t have personal experience.
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