Out of curiosity, what questions have marginalized people opted out of answering for you?
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One concrete example is nonbinary stuff. I did a bunch of googling about nonbinary identities and had a ton of questions that google didn't answer well, so I found a nonbinary discussion group and asked them my questions. They got FURIOUS at me.
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It was stuff like "Does your sense of gender identity have a location in your body" or "how would you personally define what 'gender' is to you"
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For every person asking those questions in good faith, we deal with 100 assholes trying to throw gotchas at us. It gets old fast. I'm sorry this makes things harder for you, but I would suggest taking it up with the 100 assholes.
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You are horrible at figuring out who's acting in good faith or not, then. I was very obviously acting in good faith in this group - I was careful, kind, open, asking how to best phrase my language. I was very obviously not an asshole trying to pull a gotcha, but it didn't help.
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I said 'you' because you said 'we'. But to be specific, that group of nonbinary people you were making excuses for, is absolutely horrible at telling who's not an asshole.
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Yes, you say so. And sadly, I am not in a position to give you the benefit of the doubt even on that. Go blame them what poisoned the well, not those of us who are trying to drink from it.
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Oh ffs, you trying to make me argue? Are you trying to make me justify my distrust of people who come at me demanding that I justify myself just because it would be interesting to them? Fuck you.
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A group of people were terrible to me. You excused them because they encounter assholes a lot, and said the issue is other assholes who made them assholes first. I'm asking if you apply this reasoning consistently to all groups.