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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
Verified account
@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    1. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @CathyReisenwitz

      Because it typically happens in conversations with people, often ones that *they* began. I've experienced this almost universally where I bring up a question or point and then they tap out saying "It's not my job to educate you." But we were already talking!

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
    2. Cathy Reisenwitz 🥑‏Verified account @CathyReisenwitz 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      No offense, but if your IRL questions at all resemble your Twitter ones, I can’t say I necessarily blame them for walking away. Also Keep in mind that it’s extremely exhausting to have to explain 101 concepts to people over and over again.

      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
    3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @CathyReisenwitz

      Usually the questions I ask them in person are contextual and relevant to the conversation we've been having, not out of the blue WOULD YOU RATHER FUCK A COW. And I get not wanting to explain a basic concept, but I don't see this 'educate yourself' as used for that

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
    4. Cathy Reisenwitz 🥑‏Verified account @CathyReisenwitz 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      Out of curiosity, what questions have marginalized people opted out of answering for you?

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    5. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @CathyReisenwitz

      One concrete example is nonbinary stuff. I did a bunch of googling about nonbinary identities and had a ton of questions that google didn't answer well, so I found a nonbinary discussion group and asked them my questions. They got FURIOUS at me.

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
    6. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @CathyReisenwitz

      It was stuff like "Does your sense of gender identity have a location in your body" or "how would you personally define what 'gender' is to you"

      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
    7. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @CathyReisenwitz

      They told me I had no business expecting them to do "emotional labor" (I didn't demand anybody do anything, I just posted the questions that I assumed people wouldn't answer if they didn't want to!) and that I should go "educate myself" instead of "demanding their time"

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    8. Cathy Reisenwitz 🥑‏Verified account @CathyReisenwitz 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      So you came into a space for non-binary people expecting them to explain their experience to you? I can totally see why people who are constantly invalidated wouldn’t want to explain complicated, vulnerable stuff to an outsider whose motivations are unknown.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    9. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @CathyReisenwitz

      Not expecting, just asking! There was lots of discussion already about nonbinary stuff. I just asked questions. But people didn't say "Hey, this group actually isn't for this and we prefer not to answer", they insulted me repeatedly.

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
    10. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @CathyReisenwitz

      I've asked questions in a LOT of groups, all the time - I post surveys, start discussion topics, bring up curiosities of mine, in small, weird groups all over. The nonbinary group was the most hostile, angry, insulting reaction I've ever gotten.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 4 Feb 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @CathyReisenwitz

      And for comparison I'm in a group of mostly old conservative racist white men, a group for old car repair, one for extreme astrology devotees, and group of homemakers talking about how to most efficiently beat their kids.

      9:11 PM - 4 Feb 2020
      • 1 Like
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      0 replies 0 retweets 1 like

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