How is it submissive or humiliating to recognize you’re not owed an education from anyone, let alone marginalized people? I get why it’s embarrassing to realize you expected one and that’s kind of messed up. But it’s embarrassing the way personal growth tends to be.https://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1224916120479518720 …
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They told me I had no business expecting them to do "emotional labor" (I didn't demand anybody do anything, I just posted the questions that I assumed people wouldn't answer if they didn't want to!) and that I should go "educate myself" instead of "demanding their time"
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So you came into a space for non-binary people expecting them to explain their experience to you? I can totally see why people who are constantly invalidated wouldn’t want to explain complicated, vulnerable stuff to an outsider whose motivations are unknown.
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For every person asking those questions in good faith, we deal with 100 assholes trying to throw gotchas at us. It gets old fast. I'm sorry this makes things harder for you, but I would suggest taking it up with the 100 assholes.
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You are horrible at figuring out who's acting in good faith or not, then. I was very obviously acting in good faith in this group - I was careful, kind, open, asking how to best phrase my language. I was very obviously not an asshole trying to pull a gotcha, but it didn't help.
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