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I think the thing other people are parsing as 'gender' isn't 'gender' to me. I talked with a nonbinary friend recently who described their nonbinaryness as sort of... not wanting to be misunderstood as having female traits. This is valid! This also is completely different from-

Dr. Cody, Esq.

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Listen to

. It’ll clear some misunderstandings up for you.

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I'm sick of having people tell me I need to sit down, shut up, and be taught. I wanna have a discussion where I bring up my confusions, my criticisms are actually handled. Sometimes this has happened and it's wonderful! But I generally HATE the genderqueer attitude towards this.

4:32 AM · Feb 5, 2020

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It’s not the job of the marginalized to educate others. I never said shut up. I pointed you to an invaluable resource that explains things better than I ever could.

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I also hate that attitude - it's stopped short my conversations with people a lot. I've never once questioned my role to educate people re: stuff I'm the 'marginalized party' for. But I'm kind of sensitive about this issue so I might be overreacting to you specifially.

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If you’d like to have a conversation with me specifically, I’m all for it. DM me. 😊

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Alright. I have more energy this morning. Here’s the definitive answer: If you identify as a woman, you’re a woman. If you identify as a man, you’re a man. If you identify as non-binary, you are. Gender is complex. Respecting peoples’ identities isn’t.

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based! don't listen to them Aella - we are with you!