What I mean by this is that I view any sort of philosophy that requires other people to view you a certain way *or else you experience a lot of pain* to be possibly quite unhealthy. I imagine a good, aligned person doesn't feel the need to control the way other people see them.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @cl_gamble and
And to be clear, it's okay to have coping mechanisms for things that aren't healed - we all do, and I'm not saying you *shouldn't* take this solution if it's the best one available to you. I just suspect it's a result of not actually having all your shit worked out.
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I'm glad it's worked out! I see a strong difference between having stuff worked out yourself, and trying to tell other people how they're supposed to see you. I don't see any trauma at all in having your gender stuff worked out; I see trauma in trying to control others.
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To say more words, I can't tell if your genderfeels internally are from trauma or not. In general I'll trust your word on it, I can't tell you what you're feeling or how well you know yourself. But I *do* judge the requirements we place on other people. That's quite visible.
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