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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Feb 5, 2020

Replying to

@cl_gamble

@UshanOfBlook

and

@kittypurrzog

What I mean by this is that I view any sort of philosophy that requires other people to view you a certain way *or else you experience a lot of pain* to be possibly quite unhealthy. I imagine a good, aligned person doesn't feel the need to control the way other people see them.

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And to be clear, it's okay to have coping mechanisms for things that aren't healed - we all do, and I'm not saying you *shouldn't* take this solution if it's the best one available to you. I just suspect it's a result of not actually having all your shit worked out.

4:08 AM · Feb 5, 2020

Replying to

Because if you don't fit into one of the two boxes, simply don't fit into one of the two boxes. Be yourself, be nonfeminine or nonmasculine or whatever, and let other people's perceptions be *theirs*, not your issue.

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I also don't mean that trying to force people into the gender binary also creates a lot of issues and pain. I had a childhood very much like that, where I was forced into a binary of what women were supposed to be like, which was terrible. I get not wanting to continue that.

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Replying to

and

I'm glad it's worked out! I see a strong difference between having stuff worked out yourself, and trying to tell other people how they're supposed to see you. I don't see any trauma at all in having your gender stuff worked out; I see trauma in trying to control others.

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