And to be clear, it's okay to have coping mechanisms for things that aren't healed - we all do, and I'm not saying you *shouldn't* take this solution if it's the best one available to you. I just suspect it's a result of not actually having all your shit worked out.
What I mean by this is that I view any sort of philosophy that requires other people to view you a certain way *or else you experience a lot of pain* to be possibly quite unhealthy. I imagine a good, aligned person doesn't feel the need to control the way other people see them.
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Because if you don't fit into one of the two boxes, simply don't fit into one of the two boxes. Be yourself, be nonfeminine or nonmasculine or whatever, and let other people's perceptions be *theirs*, not your issue.
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