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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I think the thing other people are parsing as 'gender' isn't 'gender' to me. I talked with a nonbinary friend recently who described their nonbinaryness as sort of... not wanting to be misunderstood as having female traits. This is valid! This also is completely different from-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
what I understand as gender. I think there's some other huge cultural understanding of gender going on that isn't translating into my world. The way I parse gender, how well you are described by typical gender traits have very little to do with the gender you are.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
e.g., if you're an extremely masculine woman (like me!), this doesn't make you less of a woman. In the nonbinary gender framework, it seems like this *does* actually make you less of a woman. This is totally foreign to me.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
My conception of gender has a lot to do with common knowledge appearance - how do you read in the world, and how does the world treat you based on how you read? This mostly equals your 'gender'. In this perspective, your gender doesn't belong to you, but to your society.
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rosie soundsystem era (839/1k lyrics)
@nuanceexists
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I'm thinking of identity as choice of label in this instance two people could have the same exact gendered traits, except that one decides those traits make her a butch woman and the other decides it makes them a nonbinary person, because there's such overlap & it is That wiggly
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@nuanceexists
Okay. But then ideally I could go to a nonbinary person and be like 'Oh yeah in my language you're a butch woman" and they'd go "yeah def i just call it nonbinary" and if this were the case it would feel way more understandable but this is not what happens
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