I think the thing other people are parsing as 'gender' isn't 'gender' to me. I talked with a nonbinary friend recently who described their nonbinaryness as sort of... not wanting to be misunderstood as having female traits. This is valid! This also is completely different from-
This seems like a flaw. The traits are those traits; it feels bad to think about saying those traits are two different things and then being okay with that
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hmmm I *don't* think the traits are different, I think the individual's perception of the traits are different. like a cultural difference, kinda??
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Okay. But then ideally I could go to a nonbinary person and be like 'Oh yeah in my language you're a butch woman" and they'd go "yeah def i just call it nonbinary" and if this were the case it would feel way more understandable but this is not what happens
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