Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I think the thing other people are parsing as 'gender' isn't 'gender' to me. I talked with a nonbinary friend recently who described their nonbinaryness as sort of... not wanting to be misunderstood as having female traits. This is valid! This also is completely different from-
10
73
Aella
@Aella_Girl
what I understand as gender. I think there's some other huge cultural understanding of gender going on that isn't translating into my world. The way I parse gender, how well you are described by typical gender traits have very little to do with the gender you are.
3
39
Aella
@Aella_Girl
e.g., if you're an extremely masculine woman (like me!), this doesn't make you less of a woman. In the nonbinary gender framework, it seems like this *does* actually make you less of a woman. This is totally foreign to me.
7
81
foo
@Quuux
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Matches with my perception of this "nonbinary" business. They not accepting that everybody has all sorts of traits in varying levels in them. The struggle with their own prejudices is projected onto others.
1
1
Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Quuux
I don't like viewing this as a prejudice thing; I don't think these people are doing anything wrong. I think they're using a different framework from you or me to understand gender, and this is just extremely confusing when we try to communicate with each other.
foo
@Quuux
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
When I ask where this framework is coming from, I never (except once) get an a-priori model - it's ex negativo, referencing "society" and trying to go against it. Much more complicated, self-contradictory, even painful, than the simple confident statement: everybody is a mix.
1
1