Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I think the thing other people are parsing as 'gender' isn't 'gender' to me. I talked with a nonbinary friend recently who described their nonbinaryness as sort of... not wanting to be misunderstood as having female traits. This is valid! This also is completely different from-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
what I understand as gender. I think there's some other huge cultural understanding of gender going on that isn't translating into my world. The way I parse gender, how well you are described by typical gender traits have very little to do with the gender you are.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
e.g., if you're an extremely masculine woman (like me!), this doesn't make you less of a woman. In the nonbinary gender framework, it seems like this *does* actually make you less of a woman. This is totally foreign to me.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@nuanceexists
Sure! By most definitions I'm personally agender; I have no sense of gender identity at all. I do think there is a framework, tho I admit it might be loose/multifaceted. But nonbinary people mostly use the same conceptual structure to describe their ideas around gender.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@nuanceexists
So the framework is something like this: 1. Gender is something you identify as 2. Gender is a social construct 3. You can choose your gender 4. Nonbinary is a meaningful umbrella to identify under 5. Nonbinary is an indication of gender
Mark
@meditationstuff
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
and
@nuanceexists
🤔 What about like, "feeling like what it feels like to be a man/woman," or "feeling intrinsically masculine/feminine." And feeling like, "from that," certain behaviors, experiences, presentations, feel better or worse? Does the above slot in anywhere? This is frame too I think
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@meditationstuff
and
@nuanceexists
I had trouble parsing this so i'm not sure i understand, but I agree what you listed is frame. I'm slightly less into the last part being frame, where behaviors/presentations feel better or worse; I think it depends a lot on the individual example
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