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I think the thing other people are parsing as 'gender' isn't 'gender' to me. I talked with a nonbinary friend recently who described their nonbinaryness as sort of... not wanting to be misunderstood as having female traits. This is valid! This also is completely different from-

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Feb 5, 2020

what I understand as gender. I think there's some other huge cultural understanding of gender going on that isn't translating into my world. The way I parse gender, how well you are described by typical gender traits have very little to do with the gender you are.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Feb 5, 2020

e.g., if you're an extremely masculine woman (like me!), this doesn't make you less of a woman. In the nonbinary gender framework, it seems like this *does* actually make you less of a woman. This is totally foreign to me.

rosie soundsystem era (839/1k lyrics)

@nuanceexists

Feb 5, 2020

Replying to

@Aella_Girl

at least in my community, nonbinariness is mostly about disidentification with womanhood/manhood (identity), not masculinity or femininity (presentation) fwiw I don't think there *is* a "nonbinary gender framework" to be pointed at!

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Replying to

@nuanceexists

Sure! By most definitions I'm personally agender; I have no sense of gender identity at all. I do think there is a framework, tho I admit it might be loose/multifaceted. But nonbinary people mostly use the same conceptual structure to describe their ideas around gender.

12:48 AM · Feb 5, 2020

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rosie soundsystem era (839/1k lyrics)

@nuanceexists

Feb 5, 2020

Replying to

@Aella_Girl

Yeah, I guess I feel like it's such a loose framework, with so many exceptions, that it barely seems to exist :P

Replying to

So the framework is something like this: 1. Gender is something you identify as 2. Gender is a social construct 3. You can choose your gender 4. Nonbinary is a meaningful umbrella to identify under 5. Nonbinary is an indication of gender

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