I think the thing other people are parsing as 'gender' isn't 'gender' to me. I talked with a nonbinary friend recently who described their nonbinaryness as sort of... not wanting to be misunderstood as having female traits. This is valid! This also is completely different from-
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It's a very 'old' thing - ingrained, and fundamental to how society is constructed (though I don't think it's necessarily good). This other conception of gender, where it's something you identify as, is completely incompatible with the way I understand it.
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I'm not saying I'm rejecting that framework - I'm interested in using it - just the word 'gender' is really confusing things for me. I think when I overlay the word nonbinary onto the base gender, like "nonbinary woman", THEN it makes total sense to me.
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Then that communicates to me - this is someone who is treated by society as the female role, because they have a vagina and look female. They also feel there's aspects of femininity that don't apply to them, and want to be clear to others that they're not a typical woman.
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Right, i agree. I also don't really understand it. To me, gender is definitionally not proactive; in my word choice i wouldn't describe the thing they're doing as gender.
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oh this is really interesting- you consider gender an external thing? i wanna like, sit down and write down all the different things gender could be now lmao
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Absolutely! I have trouble conceiving of how it isn't. I feel like my gender rests in other people, not in me.
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So if you take your definition and ask "what do I want my gender to be?", that expands to something like "how do I want people to read me and treat me?", which is most of the actionable parts of gender by their definition.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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so you know in dreams, you can e.g. see a location as being your hometown, even if it actually has none of the right properties, but you don't notice the discrepancy until you wake up just as other ppl 'read' as m/f to us, we 'read' as m/f to ourselves
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in vast majority, this lines up with others' perceptions / sexual embodiment but if trans, you 'read' yourself as e.g. a man even if everyone in the world disagrees and your body is female as in a dream, you just 'know' even though you have none of the right properties
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