I'm increasingly viewing non-binaryness as more an expression of trauma and a desire to be understood as not a typical [insert birth sex here], and less to do about gender itself at all.
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...yes? I'm down with there being possibility of a gender outside the normal two, it's just nonbinary people aren't it
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For me, I don't have control over the gender my hindbrain bins people as. I can't consciously decide to view people as the gender they want me to, if it's different from how they look. The people that successfully confuse my brain into 'no gender' are mostly mid-passing trans.
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But that’s something in your brain. Don’t project your inability to view nonbinary people as nonbinary as them not “really” being nonbinary.
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But what does nonbinary *mean* then? They say they don't identify as either gender, but I don't know what that *means*, to identify as a gender. Your gender doesn't belong to you; you can't just decide what your gender is. Maybe we have different understandings of what gender is.
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When I say I’m not a man or a woman I’m not saying “I don’t have genitalia” or “I don’t have physical features associated with women/men” I’m saying I’m not a man or a woman.
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What does it mean to be a man or a woman, then? How do you define a man or woman?
Ok question. Do you understand binary trans people? Trans women and men?