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I'm increasingly viewing non-binaryness as more an expression of trauma and a desire to be understood as not a typical [insert birth sex here], and less to do about gender itself at all.
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...yes? I'm down with there being possibility of a gender outside the normal two, it's just nonbinary people aren't it
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For me, I don't have control over the gender my hindbrain bins people as. I can't consciously decide to view people as the gender they want me to, if it's different from how they look. The people that successfully confuse my brain into 'no gender' are mostly mid-passing trans.
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But what does nonbinary *mean* then? They say they don't identify as either gender, but I don't know what that *means*, to identify as a gender. Your gender doesn't belong to you; you can't just decide what your gender is. Maybe we have different understandings of what gender is.
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It’s hard to define and can be hard to understand! I get it! But the most important thing to realize is that gender is *not* about genitalia/chromosomes/expression. A cis guy can wear his hair long and wear makeup and dresses. And none of that makes them a woman
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