Although, "should be" is interesting? You've lived life in ways that in general are not advised, but you are doing v well
Maybe you haven't absorbed general prescriptions about "should be" but have your own that are totally fine in your specific case
Twitter mobs can't kill you
I think there's something like, am I maintaining compassion, self-skepticism, and curiosity? If so, I've got some subconscious belief that eventually things will work out because at least some people will understand where I'm coming from. So far so good!