When I finally wished to become an adult, I trained and trained; with great and careful diligence I learned to set aside such childish things as duty, obligation, responsibility, and necessity.
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Fascinations and fixations and obsessions became my marrow and bones, tangents and diversions my blood, great passions my heart, minutiae my skin.
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Light began to show behind my eyes, terrible love and anger limned my face and hands. For my play, my most wasteful of play, sketches and combinations, clutched to chest and cast aside—you see,
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For you see, it is in fact true that heaven is in a grain of sand and infinity in an hour. My most wasteful of play, my serious of play, my exuberant enjoyment and hushed absorption, unrepentant ridiculousness, shameless cringe—
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My thoughts became lightning, my will became the sun, body like a mountain, breath the vast ocean, heart like sky.
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I desired, I preferred, I lusted, I wanted, I loved. The intricacy of my play was the intricacy of my empathy and compassion. The strength of my desire was the strength of my love.
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Delight and sorrow, hunger and illness and death, tragedy and cruelty, love and war and peace, and science, quiet intimacy and the will to move heaven and earth were my play. I exhorted others to play with me, to create knowledge and safety, to rage and laugh at horror.
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To create and create, to use up ourselves and everything, to scream at everything we do not like, to support and nourish and scheme, great care, great intelligence, great love. Nothing is so precise and careful as play.
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I’m so grateful I learned to set aside such childish things as duty, obligation, responsibility, and necessity. 9/9
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(In the above I borrow some famous lines. I also gratefully borrowed a few sentences from Julie Henderson.) 10/9
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Replying to
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face-
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." - 1 Corinthians 13:11-13
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