Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
1/Let's say we have a culture where it's considered extremely bad to masturbate. You masturbate, of course. Now you're put into a position where, if you engage honestly with the rest of the community, you will be harshly punished. You can't be honest if someone asks what you
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
2/did, otherwise they might shun you or yell at you. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you masturbated", they say if you try to explain this. So you try not to masturbate, so you can be honest. But it's extremely hard, and eventually you fuck up and masturbate.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
3/This is tragic. This puts you into a horrible position with your community, where your basic needs that harm nobody are at odds with other things you value, like honesty and communication and being accepted. You can find this more commonly in strict communities, but not only.-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
4/How do we tell if something is a "difficult cultural standard" by this definition? To qualify, it must: 1. Not hurt anybody 2. Be difficult to avoid doing/relating to base needs So: Do you have any examples of actions that are violations of social morality, but don't hurt-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
5/anybody (beyond the strictly constructed/cultural impact, e.g., "you hurt me so much by breaking my trust to go masturbate like that"), and are difficult to avoid doing (such that a significant percentage of the population does this despite harsh social stigma)?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@odd_dimensions
You could make the exact same argument in the case of masturbation. "But masturbation violates trust that you won't masturbate, and it causes deep emotional harm when you do. Just because it doesn't draw blood doesn't mean it's not harmful."
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funemployed cat stepdad
@odd_dimensions
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
and
@heyursinae
I don't think that's the case at all. When cheated upon, no one is angry at their partner for "violating the implied social contract". They are upset at the partner, specifically, for betraying trust. Polygamous couples can have "cheating" issues when rules are broken.
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