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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
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@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    1. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 2 Jan 2020

      1/Let's say we have a culture where it's considered extremely bad to masturbate. You masturbate, of course. Now you're put into a position where, if you engage honestly with the rest of the community, you will be harshly punished. You can't be honest if someone asks what you

      9 replies 4 retweets 51 likes
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    2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 2 Jan 2020

      2/did, otherwise they might shun you or yell at you. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you masturbated", they say if you try to explain this. So you try not to masturbate, so you can be honest. But it's extremely hard, and eventually you fuck up and masturbate.

      1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
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    3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 2 Jan 2020

      3/This is tragic. This puts you into a horrible position with your community, where your basic needs that harm nobody are at odds with other things you value, like honesty and communication and being accepted. You can find this more commonly in strict communities, but not only.-

      6 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
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    4. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 2 Jan 2020

      4/How do we tell if something is a "difficult cultural standard" by this definition? To qualify, it must: 1. Not hurt anybody 2. Be difficult to avoid doing/relating to base needs So: Do you have any examples of actions that are violations of social morality, but don't hurt-

      1 reply 0 retweets 22 likes
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    5. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 2 Jan 2020

      5/anybody (beyond the strictly constructed/cultural impact, e.g., "you hurt me so much by breaking my trust to go masturbate like that"), and are difficult to avoid doing (such that a significant percentage of the population does this despite harsh social stigma)?

      8 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
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    6. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 2 Jan 2020

      (my answer that spawned this is 'cheating')

      12 replies 0 retweets 24 likes
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    7. a man trapped in a web of fear has nowhere to run‏ @odd_dimensions 2 Jan 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      Cheating hurts people, though. It is a violation of trust and causes emotional harm. I'm not arguing for or against it but just because it doesn't draw blood doesn't mean it's not harmful.

      2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 2 Jan 2020
      Replying to @odd_dimensions

      You could make the exact same argument in the case of masturbation. "But masturbation violates trust that you won't masturbate, and it causes deep emotional harm when you do. Just because it doesn't draw blood doesn't mean it's not harmful."

      9:05 PM - 2 Jan 2020
      • 5 Likes
      • _ =ᐳ unreachable!() 𝐮𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 Pavel Bažant avid collector of dust a man trapped in a web of fear has nowhere to run
      9 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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        2. Cow Tongue‏ @cowtung 2 Jan 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          I think the distinction between explicit and implicit contracts is important. If I'm born into a culture where (talking about) masturbation is prohibited, I didn't enter into that contract willingly. Relationships are entered into willingly.

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
        3. Justin Cohen‏ @trippdup 2 Jan 2020
          Replying to @cowtung @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          I broadly agree, but it gets messy once you acknowledge the immense, explicit cultural pressure to enter into and remain in monogamous relationships. No one (nowadays) forces you to say yes to any particular person but your status plummets if you perpetually defer.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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        2. a man trapped in a web of fear has nowhere to run‏ @odd_dimensions 2 Jan 2020
          Replying to @Aedus_ @Aella_Girl

          I see what you're saying. The distinction I'm trying to make is that the expectation of fidelity is about emotional intimacy and the perception of the relationship between two people as sacred, both sexually and socially. Masturbation is fun squeezing fluid from one's own glands.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        3. End of conversation
        1. ꧁ ⛈holyweather ☀️꧂‏ @_holyweather 2 Jan 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          Maybe the difference is that masturbation doesn't cause deep emotional harm but cheating does?

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. Seriemördaren Thomas‏ @Zweimas 2 Jan 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          What's your definition of hurting in this context if hurt feelings doesn't count? Only physical injury?

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Jon Martin‏ @Tantaburs 2 Jan 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          If your partner asks you to not masturbate and you agree to those terms then you shouldn't masturbate. You are within your rights to not agree to those terms and walk away from the relationship. If you want an Open Relationship ask for one. They are within their rights to refuse

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. Becca‏ @Bexckers 3 Jan 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          I don't think it's fully intellectually honest to equate masturbation to infidelity. The situations engage different levels of "trust". To equate them is to reduce the varying degrees/potentiality of harm that infidelity can cause. It's just so circumstantial.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        2. Eye of Ra‏ @EyeOfRa42 3 Jan 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          The problem with cheating is that it violates a contract you made with *your partner* and not just a cultural norm, so it isn’t really analogous to masturbation in your scenario

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Eye of Ra‏ @EyeOfRa42 3 Jan 2020
          Replying to @EyeOfRa42 @Aella_Girl @odd_dimensions

          I suspect you might counter with “it’s a silly contract to enter into in the first place”. I would disagree but even if I grant you that point, breaking a contract is wrong

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. End of conversation

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