1/Let's say we have a culture where it's considered extremely bad to masturbate. You masturbate, of course. Now you're put into a position where, if you engage honestly with the rest of the community, you will be harshly punished. You can't be honest if someone asks what you
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I think the distinction between explicit and implicit contracts is important. If I'm born into a culture where (talking about) masturbation is prohibited, I didn't enter into that contract willingly. Relationships are entered into willingly.
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I broadly agree, but it gets messy once you acknowledge the immense, explicit cultural pressure to enter into and remain in monogamous relationships. No one (nowadays) forces you to say yes to any particular person but your status plummets if you perpetually defer.
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I see what you're saying. The distinction I'm trying to make is that the expectation of fidelity is about emotional intimacy and the perception of the relationship between two people as sacred, both sexually and socially. Masturbation is fun squeezing fluid from one's own glands.
End of conversation
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Maybe the difference is that masturbation doesn't cause deep emotional harm but cheating does?
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What's your definition of hurting in this context if hurt feelings doesn't count? Only physical injury?
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If your partner asks you to not masturbate and you agree to those terms then you shouldn't masturbate. You are within your rights to not agree to those terms and walk away from the relationship. If you want an Open Relationship ask for one. They are within their rights to refuse
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I don't think it's fully intellectually honest to equate masturbation to infidelity. The situations engage different levels of "trust". To equate them is to reduce the varying degrees/potentiality of harm that infidelity can cause. It's just so circumstantial.
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The problem with cheating is that it violates a contract you made with *your partner* and not just a cultural norm, so it isn’t really analogous to masturbation in your scenario
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I suspect you might counter with “it’s a silly contract to enter into in the first place”. I would disagree but even if I grant you that point, breaking a contract is wrong
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