Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
1/Let's say we have a culture where it's considered extremely bad to masturbate. You masturbate, of course. Now you're put into a position where, if you engage honestly with the rest of the community, you will be harshly punished. You can't be honest if someone asks what you
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
2/did, otherwise they might shun you or yell at you. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you masturbated", they say if you try to explain this. So you try not to masturbate, so you can be honest. But it's extremely hard, and eventually you fuck up and masturbate.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
3/This is tragic. This puts you into a horrible position with your community, where your basic needs that harm nobody are at odds with other things you value, like honesty and communication and being accepted. You can find this more commonly in strict communities, but not only.-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
4/How do we tell if something is a "difficult cultural standard" by this definition? To qualify, it must: 1. Not hurt anybody 2. Be difficult to avoid doing/relating to base needs So: Do you have any examples of actions that are violations of social morality, but don't hurt-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
5/anybody (beyond the strictly constructed/cultural impact, e.g., "you hurt me so much by breaking my trust to go masturbate like that"), and are difficult to avoid doing (such that a significant percentage of the population does this despite harsh social stigma)?
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Michael
@Tweeb0
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Needs? I wouldn’t go that far... I think more what was the intended use of the sexual organs? It may be overly condemned but I also don’t think people Are supposed to sit around all day gratifying themselves
Altcam
@Altcam2
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
"Honesty and communication" may already be at odds with your community. Could there be a community that supports masturbation but doesn't want you to respond to "how has your day been?" with "It was going great until my vibrator battery died"?
Altcam
@Altcam2
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
2/ i.e. your question implies that four things are important to you: acceptance within your community; masturbation; honesty; and communication. Assuming arguendo that each is a yes/no question, you have sixteen potential cases to deal with.
Altcam
@Altcam2
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
3/ The easy case to posit is the four "yes" condition: a community that supports communication, honesty, masturbation, and acceptance. Has anyone seen one? How large was it? Once you're into the other fifteen cases, I don't think it can ever be fully internally consistent.
Amine
@DeanAmine
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Skeptical that it harms nobody (leaving aside oneself). If one uses porn, it generates demand for prostitution. If one tells other people about it, it influences others and changes norms. Maybe people find they have less "bodily need" to masturbate in certain environments.
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