Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
Bob, a devout Christian and shrewd capitalist, realized that with a little moral efficiency he could maximize the rewards waiting for him in heaven. Bob builds a 'turn the other cheek' factory, paying below minimum wage to immigrants to slap his left cheek, then the right.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Soon Bob realizes - if he gets heavenly rewards for turning the other cheek, how much more could he get for enabling others to turn their cheeks? Bob quickly hires more immigrants to be the slapee, installing an assembly line for slapees to slide efficiently past slappers.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
And, to make sure Jesus knows he's responsible for this sudden outpouring of moral goodness, he installs on the factory wall a large screen, playing on repeat a video tape of him beseeching his workers in the name of Jesus to turn the other cheek, for it is good.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Bob builds a giant needle so that rich people may step through its eye. Bob pays prostitutes to marry each other. Bob starts a new clothing line where women's clothing is advertised as men's, so crossdressers can wear "men's clothes" but still feel sexy.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Bob lobbies to use the taxes from the poor to institute welfare for the poor. Bob starts a meetup group for tax collectors in his city. Bob cuts down barren fig trees and uses the wood as supply for his new "We Put The Log In Your Eye So You Can Get It Out" company.
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