Conversation

Polyamory myths I see again and again 1. Poly means you're less committed to your partner 2. Poly relationships don't last as long 3. If you're poly you must like casual sex/have a higher sex drive/are promiscuous 4. If you're poly you must be with more than one person

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

1. I know plenty long-term married poly people with kids 2.. In a study I did people's primary poly relationships lasted as long as mono ones 2. I know some poly people who don't even have sex, and most rarely have casual sex 4. Some poly ppl are dating 1 person and like it

7:38 PM · Dec 28, 2019

Replying to

I'm beginning to enter the rabbit hole and I know

@sentientist

and

@primalpoly

, who are great ambassadors of poly, but could you recommend more sources like blogs or other great people who think and write about poly stuff?

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and

Didn't

start writing about poly? Also of course there's

@franklinveaux

and

@Emanix

who wrote More Than Two

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Some… Plenty… Ambiguous. No data?

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hold on i did a huge study on this and am touching it up to publish on my blog

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Would you possibly have a link to the study? Or point me in the right direction? There isn't much research on this (oddly), but what does exist at least tentatively supports your assertion.

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I have my own data and I made a kinda shitty writeup of it a while ago; I'm going through it again and hope to republish it better on my blog soon!

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Honest to god question - how do you handle gealosy in a poly relationship? I simply cannot get past this mindset - even if you are happy for the other person, this primal urge to keep them for yourself, should be ingrained in all of us, as possesive primates

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I've been poly for nearly ten years now and it differs with each relationship - but overall it gets easier. Jealousy for me is primal 'fear that they'll steal my partner away' - but after years of my partners *not* getting stolen away, the fear is just less convincing.

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I know successful and dysfunctional poly people. I’m torn on poly. It seems good, but flawed—as much as any human relation. It doesn’t appear more ideal or scalable or universal. It has certain pros and cons. For those who poly works, I’m supportive and intrigued.

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There seem to be many people in poly relationships who aren’t actually poly people. Is there a quiz to help people find out? If not, there probably should be.