There's an idea floating around that you "shouldn't hurt people". In general, this is a good idea. Sometimes there's obvious exceptions, like in self defense. Sometimes it's less obvious - your abusive romantic partner might be terribly hurt if you break up with them. Sometimes-
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The way to handle pain in situations like these is to accept it exists, to hurt with the person feeling it, and then to compassionately continue with the thing that is good - break up with the boyfriend, but validate his pain. Lose weight, while hurting with your friend.
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Being hurt by an action doesn't mean it was wrong, but the action being good does not invalidate the pain.
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I usually don't use the word hurt in such statements, because pain is an inevitably in life. I use the word harm, hoping the difference is meaning to not go about deliberately and intentionally doing something to inflict unnecessary pain on others.
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This is a good distinction
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