Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
Carl and Bob agree that neither of them will spend time alone with another friend. Five years into their friendship, Bob secretly meets up for beers and shooting pool with Alice. Carl asks him where he was -Bob lies. Carl finds out and, furious, ends the friendship. (cont)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
So like - Bob did make an agreement, break it, and lie. But this seems of secondary importance to the fact that they literally made each other promise something that is really hard to do in the long run, out of what's probably severe insecurity, and not actually healthy. (cont)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
When I see monogamous people cheat in media (or real life?), this is sort of the reaction I have. Yeah - they did break an agreement and lie. But seriously how is nobody talking about the insane agreement they felt pressured to enter in the first place?? No shit they cheated!
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Tharin
@Tharin_P
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I think this is probably true, but if you take it as almost inevitable that cheating will happen because of the unreasonable nature of the agreement, how do you account for all the people willfully content in their monogamy - all those that never actually do cheat?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Tharin_P
I think probably most of them are not content all the time. Maybe Bob and Carl are mostly content in their friendship, and the fear of the wrath/loss of friendship of the other is enough to keep them in line, but they are *still* suppressing themselves even if they never 'cheat.'
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Tharin
@Tharin_P
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
And u think this occasional discontent is different in nature/degree from the discontent that can arise from violations of non-monogamous agreements? I assume dishonesty/chicanery are possible under both systems
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