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I have a friend who yells MONOPLOT whenever we're watching a movie in which the characters get into zany situations because of monogamy. It's caught on and now we all groan MONOPLOT together whenever the conflict would be immediately resolved with just a little polyamory.

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What do you yell when poly’s predatorily go after monogamous relationships because they assume all bonds of connection are temporary and up for grabs?

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poly people assume all bonds of connection are temporary? News to me

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Do you think people who identify as poly have a higher instance of viewing relationships as temporary/transitory than monogamous people?

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I did a study and there was no statistically significant difference in relationship length between poly or monogamous couples. Regardless of how transitory or not they view it, it works out to roughly the same level of actual commitment.

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I didn’t mean to imply all poly people are one way, and I know you’re a data oriented so I don’t have to go into skewed sample arguments but I’ll be curious as it becomes more socially acceptable how this dynamic plays out, especially the problem of mate poaching.

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Think this is one reason there’s animosity between the two relationship styles (kinda like monotheism/polytheism) because the existence of the other is threatening in a number of ways, the possible increase in mate poaching being one.

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Im immersed in poly culture and I've never seen anyone do mate poaching, or heard of it. Im sure someone somewhere has done it before but it seems closer to a myth, at least in my community. Why would a poly person want a monogamous partner anyway?

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It’s called “poaching” because it’s done in secret. Frowned upon by most people. Getting caught has blowback. There’s some E.P. literature on it by David Buss. Think it’s more about conversion than wanting a monogamous partner. Benefit is larger pool of potential partners.

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Or what’s more likely is that poly’s look at people in monogamous relationships as fair game for causal sex (not as potential partners) which disproportionately destroys monogamous relationships, thus the risk/reward is lopsided between the two groups.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

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@JoriSackin

Most poly people I know get more sex than the monogamous people I know. On average I'd expect a monogamous person to have a greater drive looking for casual sex, because they're much more likely to be in a sexual situation they can't escape without leaving the entire relationship

2:18 AM · Nov 14, 2019

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That’s possible. Also possible that poly’s as a group have a higher sex drive and higher openness to experience which is one of the reasons monogamy isn’t appealing. I believe there’s some innateness to these traits, but not quite as much as sexual orientation.