Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
A lot of things I do are really bad to my parents and my old community. You could use the words "disrespecting" or "offending" them - including stuff like me roleplaying as an extremely convincing, bible-quoting christian girl while slowly stripping on a camshow. (cont)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I genuinely don't want to cause pain to my parents/old community, but I also value self expression. You might argue the bar I'm setting is low - is it really that hard to just not roleplay as an evangelical christian? - and like... maybe? But it's sort of my choice - I ultimately
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
get to balance the level of self expression I want and the pain I'm willing to cause my old community. This does *not mean I approve of the pain or that I don't care* - it just means I value *even more* the freedom to perform or display anything I want.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
This line feels deeply personal and I feel difficulty judging anybody for where they put this line - if their action *does not directly harm anyone else and does acknowledgge the pain caused by their action* - then they can limit their behavior wherever feels best for them.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
This is how I make sense of cultural appropriation. Does it cause pain to people? Yes. Is it shitty to tell offended people to 'buck it up'? Yes. Do I support people voluntarily not appropriating because of compassion? Yes. Do I support people self expressing anyway? Also yes.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
A caveat: Some things that look like 'cultural appropriation' are actually targeted hatred (like racist people using blackface), and this does not fall under the umbrella I'm discussing here, because it's done without a compassionate contact with the people they're hurting.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@BoraCanSekerel
One easy 'compassionate contact' example is when I tell a romantic partner a really hard truth, and I do it because honesty is important to me, but I also hurt through them with the impact of what I said. Ofc you can have varying levels of contact with that hurt - I don't -
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Thomas Basbøll
@Inframethod
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Thinking about an ethics of "compassionate contact with the people you're hurting" is a great way to begin my day. Thanks! "Quality of life", perhaps, is best understood as more or less compassionate contact with the pain and pleasure of others.