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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
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@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    1. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      Threat evaluations THREAD! At a huge halloween party a few nights ago, a girl was going up to people, making some small talk, and then going 'Hey can I get a photo with you?' It was a little weird. She asked me for a photo. I felt weird about it, and did a quick scan to see how-

      2 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
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    2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      -this could be used to hurt me. It didn't seem damaging to me, so I ignored the discomfort and agreed. "This is weird, scan for danger, if safe, then proceed" rule might be a mental motion I am much more likely to do than others (both my friends refused a photo with that girl).-

      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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    3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      It also comes into play if a guy like, puts his hand on my leg or catcalls me on the street, where I'll do "feel weird, quick scan, am safe, respond positively". All this hinges on being extremely aware of what I'd do in a worst-case-scenario. For example, hand-on-my-leg is-

      2 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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    4. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      -totally fine if I'm at a party surrounded by friends who care about me. All I'd have to do is make any loud upset motion at all and I'd be instantly safe. Catcalling is wonderful if I'm on a crowded street during daylight - I'm sure there's no way I'm gonna get pulled into-

      1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
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    5. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      an alley, and if I get followed I anticipate it being really easy to get help from people around me. Keeping in touch with 'What would I do if the worst thing happened right now' ends up letting me feel much safer overall. On the other hand, I end up pretty scared when alone.

      1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
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    6. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      But I wonder if this different mental motion is why I seem to "not notice" harassment as much as others - I never perceive it as threatening in the first place! It also might have drawbacks - for example if my intuition is better at assessing threat than my conscious brain.

      7 replies 0 retweets 29 likes
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    7. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 27 Oct 2019
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      This seems related to the bystander effect. You're under the impression you're safe in crowds/ around people you know... that's very often not the case. The idea of well lit streets is fine until you realize they can see you too and there's nowhere for you to hide.

      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019
      Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben

      Once I screamed for help in an alley late at night and people woke up and came outside to help. I also recently passed a guy harassing another guy, and there were strangers standing around them obviously waiting to step in if it escalated. I feel safe with people.

      7:00 PM - 27 Oct 2019
      • 2 Likes
      • Creese’s Withering Spoon Dr. Spacey B, PhD
      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          I'm sure your safety is more secure in many situations than others. I don't mean that as a dig at all, you're a force to be seriously considered all on your own from my own experiences.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben @Aella_Girl

          For a lot of people, they've had countless experiences being able to count on the kindness of strangers until they couldn't when a seemingly safe situation turned into a walking nightmare; and that's what it took to sully their faith in their ability to scan accurately...

          4 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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