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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
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@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    1. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      Threat evaluations THREAD! At a huge halloween party a few nights ago, a girl was going up to people, making some small talk, and then going 'Hey can I get a photo with you?' It was a little weird. She asked me for a photo. I felt weird about it, and did a quick scan to see how-

      2 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
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    2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      -this could be used to hurt me. It didn't seem damaging to me, so I ignored the discomfort and agreed. "This is weird, scan for danger, if safe, then proceed" rule might be a mental motion I am much more likely to do than others (both my friends refused a photo with that girl).-

      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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    3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      It also comes into play if a guy like, puts his hand on my leg or catcalls me on the street, where I'll do "feel weird, quick scan, am safe, respond positively". All this hinges on being extremely aware of what I'd do in a worst-case-scenario. For example, hand-on-my-leg is-

      2 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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    4. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      -totally fine if I'm at a party surrounded by friends who care about me. All I'd have to do is make any loud upset motion at all and I'd be instantly safe. Catcalling is wonderful if I'm on a crowded street during daylight - I'm sure there's no way I'm gonna get pulled into-

      1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
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    5. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      an alley, and if I get followed I anticipate it being really easy to get help from people around me. Keeping in touch with 'What would I do if the worst thing happened right now' ends up letting me feel much safer overall. On the other hand, I end up pretty scared when alone.

      1 reply 0 retweets 17 likes
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      Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 27 Oct 2019

      But I wonder if this different mental motion is why I seem to "not notice" harassment as much as others - I never perceive it as threatening in the first place! It also might have drawbacks - for example if my intuition is better at assessing threat than my conscious brain.

      6:34 PM - 27 Oct 2019
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      7 replies 0 retweets 29 likes
        1. DeadRinga‏ @deadntwitchin 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          I like to think it means you have a very high awareness of context.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        2. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          This seems related to the bystander effect. You're under the impression you're safe in crowds/ around people you know... that's very often not the case. The idea of well lit streets is fine until you realize they can see you too and there's nowhere for you to hide.

          2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben @Aella_Girl

          Nearly the entire developed democratic world's eyes are on Hong Kong presently, just like they were on Tiananmen Square in 1989, but the people protesting aren't really any safer because of it. Danger is everywhere and nowhere; that girl is your CLOSE friend now according to her.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        2. iorena‏ @limitoftruth 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          My theory and experience is that people who feel threatened and scared don't "think the thought through" - doing the worst case scenario analysis you describe. They get stuck on "THEN SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN" and sort of shut their eyes and resist the thought, which -

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. iorena‏ @limitoftruth 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @limitoftruth @Aella_Girl

          - ironically ends up making them stuck on the panicked loop of "BAD THINGS!!" instead of finishing the thought and moving on.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. Soulcatch‏ @Soulcatch 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          One of the things I used to struggle with (and still do to a point) is being to polite to get out of a situation where my gut is telling me this is wrong. Maybe it is because at my age guys aren't as likely to throw fists anymore, so I don't have to worry about violence.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Alexander InvalidValue Cadeyrn‏ @InvalidDefiant 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          I think a lot of women consider touch without consent already an act of violence, rather than just a cute form of communication to be assessed for threat levels ;-)

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        1. Hector‏ @hectorr159 27 Oct 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          I’m always amazed at how men need military training to get the basic threat-assessment protocol that most women discover at 13 Your anecdote suggests women are less attuned to these days, which is good, but also might explain the uptick in reported incidents... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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