Threat evaluations THREAD! At a huge halloween party a few nights ago, a girl was going up to people, making some small talk, and then going 'Hey can I get a photo with you?' It was a little weird. She asked me for a photo. I felt weird about it, and did a quick scan to see how-
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-totally fine if I'm at a party surrounded by friends who care about me. All I'd have to do is make any loud upset motion at all and I'd be instantly safe. Catcalling is wonderful if I'm on a crowded street during daylight - I'm sure there's no way I'm gonna get pulled into-
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an alley, and if I get followed I anticipate it being really easy to get help from people around me. Keeping in touch with 'What would I do if the worst thing happened right now' ends up letting me feel much safer overall. On the other hand, I end up pretty scared when alone.
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But I wonder if this different mental motion is why I seem to "not notice" harassment as much as others - I never perceive it as threatening in the first place! It also might have drawbacks - for example if my intuition is better at assessing threat than my conscious brain.
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Is this meant as a way to navigate the world without much of a set of rules for how people should interact? A lot of us learn rules for interaction that would effectively forbid something like a hand on the leg without some kind of invitation.
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For someone who believes in those rules, the hand on the leg is negative even if the person doesn't feel threatened, because it sidesteps the rules that keep people safe and embeds (nonexplicit, admittedly) communication at several steps on the way.
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