-this could be used to hurt me. It didn't seem damaging to me, so I ignored the discomfort and agreed. "This is weird, scan for danger, if safe, then proceed" rule might be a mental motion I am much more likely to do than others (both my friends refused a photo with that girl).-
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It also comes into play if a guy like, puts his hand on my leg or catcalls me on the street, where I'll do "feel weird, quick scan, am safe, respond positively". All this hinges on being extremely aware of what I'd do in a worst-case-scenario. For example, hand-on-my-leg is-
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-totally fine if I'm at a party surrounded by friends who care about me. All I'd have to do is make any loud upset motion at all and I'd be instantly safe. Catcalling is wonderful if I'm on a crowded street during daylight - I'm sure there's no way I'm gonna get pulled into-
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an alley, and if I get followed I anticipate it being really easy to get help from people around me. Keeping in touch with 'What would I do if the worst thing happened right now' ends up letting me feel much safer overall. On the other hand, I end up pretty scared when alone.
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But I wonder if this different mental motion is why I seem to "not notice" harassment as much as others - I never perceive it as threatening in the first place! It also might have drawbacks - for example if my intuition is better at assessing threat than my conscious brain.
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Makes sense to me. I've wondered how some folks experience so much harassment. I think I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and so I don't panic about it unless there's a real threat.
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I'm also socially comfortable saying "why are you going around taking pictures with everyone?" or casually put a man's hand back in his own lap if I do want them to think about their behavior without sounding the alarm.
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