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whenever i'm having a shitty time, it helps to view it as the price to pay for being able to love others who've had the same type of shitty time. I feel like I'm relieving the loneliness of others in that experience by having that terrible experience myself.
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in this i actively want to be exposed to and to experience as much pain as I can fit into my life, because then it stretches me in a way that makes me able to be with others in a greater depth and variety of pain. I don't want to be afraid to face other people in their suffering.
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obvs my experience isn't immediately touching other people, but the sense of there being person out there who can understand feels valuable to me, and I enjoy trying to communicate it too.
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Almost every day was a shitty day for me for the past 5 years or so. It didn't help me love anyone. If anything I am more disgusted about the world and people.