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I actually think this puts you in a great position because you have a great deal of objectivity where it is needed. It’s hard to be a good EA if you value those close to you more than those you’ll never see.
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I feel the same. To reach a state where you are continuously loving everyone with the same intensity needs a state of unbearable pain inflicted not by humans but by the merciless entropy. Or be in a state of thoughtlessness for a very long duration (hours and days)