When I feel attracted to someone, I'll ask them on a date, or flirt, or talk to them more, or whatever. Nearly every single time, after getting to know them better, I lose my attraction to them. This is such a common pattern that I've stopped pursuing people I'm attracted to,
Virtuosity and long term value is a lot of what generates feelings of attraction for me, these days. but also I am not on board the 'don't put out' train. I'm off of it. I leaped off while the train was over a ravine, like, eight years ago.
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I tend to think people who expose themselves (inner & outer) early on have issues with boundaries and often low self esteem. Or they simply don't know what they're doing in terms of a relationship. Wisdom is not opening yourself up enough such that you can be judged so quickly.
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