When I feel attracted to someone, I'll ask them on a date, or flirt, or talk to them more, or whatever. Nearly every single time, after getting to know them better, I lose my attraction to them. This is such a common pattern that I've stopped pursuing people I'm attracted to,
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because I've learned it'll be fruitless.
Does anybody else experience this? How do you deal with it?
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Usually it's one of the following:
1. subtle signals of being intimidated by me
2. red flags re: emotional stability
3. they have difficulty understanding concepts I like to talk about
4. they demonstrate inflexibility of frames/attachment to a certain 'truth' idea
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Also: have you tried flirting with people you don't feel attracted too?
Kind of a stupid question but I can imagine you giving an unexpectedly interesting answer to that
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Is it that when you get to know them better you see that you are not intellectually or emotionally compatible? Or is it that when they become more of a real person to you (even if you think they're an amazing person) the mystique and excitement go away?
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That makes sense! I don't think I'm attracted to novelty to that extent, but probably a lot of people with similar problems to me, are.
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