Polyamorous people: Does being polyamorous feel like 'a choice,' like you could switch off being poly if you wanted?
- Yes, definitely10.1%
- Uncertain/mixed8%
- No, definitely not6.6%
- Not poly, results please!75.3%
2,713 votesFinal results
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I have the "need", to some extent.
I don't have to act on it though. And it doesn't completely ruin my quality of life either that I don't.
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I guess I'm defining poly as the orientation, rather than the habit; as in if you suddenly break up with your 3 girlfriends, you're still a polyamorous person, just single.
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Suppressing poly behavior may be easier than switching off the poly temperament.
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It feels similar to a sexual orientation to me. I'm with a man, but I'm still attracted to women because I'm bisexual. When I'm choosing to be monogamous, I'm still capable of loving many but am focusing my attention on one.
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I thought that I was fairly ambivalent - happy with mono, happy with poly. Then I had a relationship with someone who tried to force monogamy on me and realised that it made me incredibly unsatisfied. Might have just been a shit boyfriend, though.
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I feel like it depends really heavily on who I’m with. If my partner wants to be monogamous and I really care about them and I feel an incredibly deep connection with them then I can be monogamous with no issues whatsoever. The reverse is also true.
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For us it isn’t a choice it’s how we feel. We have love to give and no jealous bones.
