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My gut doesn't understand monogamy anymore. In movies, when the character sees their partner flirting with someone else, or even walking in on them cheating (minus the lying part), I'm confused why the character isn't loving and supportive. Getting mad seems so unrealistic.

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Right, like I said, minus the lying part. But the severe reaction to cheating is way disproportional to if the issue was just the lying. And I mean often the lying comes out of fear of telling their parent about their needs in the first place.

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The fear is a good point actually. But I don't understand what you mean by "minus the lying part" of cheating -- it's called cheating *because* you are lying, no? 😆 Otherwise, why transition to exclusivity in the first place? Just keep it fair by having an open relationship.

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It is cheating because you're lying, but the issue isn't just lying. Like, you can lie about a wide variety of actions that will piss people off a wide variety when they find out. Lying about stealing a candy is not the same thing about lying about homicide.

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The thing is, "cheating" is lying about an action that I don't consider inherently harmful. Stealing candy and murdering someone is damaging to the candy owner or the victim; having sex with someone is damaging only to a third party, not involved, who's insecure about it.

7:39 PM · Sep 9, 2019

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It's at least a violation of trust. Couples are about more than sex, if they can't even trust each other with that, how can they trust each other with larger projects that take a lifetime to accomplish. If you want an open couple, then create an open couple with someone

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Ahh, I see what you mean now. But I think the extent to which it would be harmful depends on whether there is any kind of emotional attachment to a third party. So it can't be universally determined.

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fundamentally speaking, a relationship is a contract to facilitate having kids. cheating is violating a term of that contract, creates doubt as to whether you'll follow the rest of it, which can damage prospects of reproduction.