My gut doesn't understand monogamy anymore. In movies, when the character sees their partner flirting with someone else, or even walking in on them cheating (minus the lying part), I'm confused why the character isn't loving and supportive. Getting mad seems so unrealistic.
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The thing is, "cheating" is lying about an action that I don't consider inherently harmful. Stealing candy and murdering someone is damaging to the candy owner or the victim; having sex with someone is damaging only to a third party, not involved, who's insecure about it.
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It's at least a violation of trust. Couples are about more than sex, if they can't even trust each other with that, how can they trust each other with larger projects that take a lifetime to accomplish. If you want an open couple, then create an open couple with someone
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There is a huge difference between not lying to your partner about anything and lying about small things. Possibly that's a larger difference than between lying about small things and large things. With lies, shared reality breaks down and the simulations begin to stack
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Agreed! It reminds me of growing up, tho. The restrictions placed on my behavior were pretty unreasonable, and I ended up lying about some things. In general I very rarely lie, but in that environment I had to lie sometimes to get my needs met. The pressure seems relevant here.
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Otherwise, why transition to exclusivity in the first place? Just keep it fair by having an open relationship.