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My gut doesn't understand monogamy anymore. In movies, when the character sees their partner flirting with someone else, or even walking in on them cheating (minus the lying part), I'm confused why the character isn't loving and supportive. Getting mad seems so unrealistic.

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Right, like I said, minus the lying part. But the severe reaction to cheating is way disproportional to if the issue was just the lying. And I mean often the lying comes out of fear of telling their parent about their needs in the first place.

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The fear is a good point actually. But I don't understand what you mean by "minus the lying part" of cheating -- it's called cheating *because* you are lying, no? 😆 Otherwise, why transition to exclusivity in the first place? Just keep it fair by having an open relationship.

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It is cheating because you're lying, but the issue isn't just lying. Like, you can lie about a wide variety of actions that will piss people off a wide variety when they find out. Lying about stealing a candy is not the same thing about lying about homicide.

7:38 PM · Sep 9, 2019

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The thing is, "cheating" is lying about an action that I don't consider inherently harmful. Stealing candy and murdering someone is damaging to the candy owner or the victim; having sex with someone is damaging only to a third party, not involved, who's insecure about it.

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There is a huge difference between not lying to your partner about anything and lying about small things. Possibly that's a larger difference than between lying about small things and large things. With lies, shared reality breaks down and the simulations begin to stack

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Agreed! It reminds me of growing up, tho. The restrictions placed on my behavior were pretty unreasonable, and I ended up lying about some things. In general I very rarely lie, but in that environment I had to lie sometimes to get my needs met. The pressure seems relevant here.

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