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My gut doesn't understand monogamy anymore. In movies, when the character sees their partner flirting with someone else, or even walking in on them cheating (minus the lying part), I'm confused why the character isn't loving and supportive. Getting mad seems so unrealistic.

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It's not just about trust, it's also (often) about a partly melded identity and very long-term intent (plus there's probably a lot of instinct going on below a cognitive level). Coming out of the storm of being alone in life towards a "you and me against the world"

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Lack of the above is why I don't take poly relationships very seriously; they look like someone is just dating around perpetually.

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You must not have seen some of the poly relationships (long term, house and kids) that I have

2:56 PM · Sep 9, 2019

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and

I've seen a number over my life, but never took part in any (pretty sure I'm not built for that emotionally). I found them hard to understand in some ways, although the "single main, some alts" webs were the least alien from my perspective.