Conversation

Do you have "security layers" to filter for people you befriend or like? e.g., you look for a certain trait, and if they have that trait, then they pass your filter into (or closer to) friend status.

Yes, heavy filters
20.1%
Yes, some filters
38.2%
Yes, but rare
13.9%
Nope, no filtering!
27.9%

865 votesFinal results

9:44 PM · Aug 26, 2019

Replying to

Everyone gets their own filter calibration.

Misha Gurevich, Photographer, VC, Wives 0/1

@drethelin

Aug 26, 2019

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@Aella_Girl

nothing conscious/explicit like that

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Doing stagecraft on the road, I always carry an extrablack fine-point Sharpie, and will loan it to anyone who asks. If it isn't returned, that's a fail.

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I don't have formal tests, but when someone enjoys telling me certain types of gossip I avoid telling them things I wouldn't want them repeating. (I answered "Yes, but rare" in the poll.)

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Empathy, curiosity, rationality

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What about a series of gates they must successfully pass through? Like not flaking, having an open mind, being thoughtful, sense of humor... That could be considered having filters but I have always thought of it as passing through the gates to my inner circle!

QC (4/10 Substack posts)

@QiaochuYuan

Aug 26, 2019

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@Aella_Girl

really want answers to this question paired with questions about best estimate as to status, e.g. yes | i feel high status, yes | i feel low status, etc.

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Absolutely no weebs.

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Some. They need to have a similar psychology to my own. Manners of speaking/writing, similar emotional bases, similar interests (for me, gaming, politics, science/tech, music, martial arts...I have a wide range). How we process emotion/reason is also critical.

Replying to

Yes, heavy, but the reverse. Rather than filtering FOR certain traits, I filter AGAINST. I think it allows for more variety in my friends' personalities.