It can be extremely hard to start socially transitioning, especially early on. Those folks beyond the age of 40 often have an even harder time doing so as they often worry that it is too late to do so. It's not safe in a lot of places to transition even if you pass flawlessly.
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Replying to @SpaceTransViv @TheRealRainfall
Sure, I understand this. His feelings are real and maybe he has serious dysphoria. But I don't know what the word 'woman' means if you can be a woman just by saying you are, yknow? He (she?) might be a woman to herself, but does not register as woman to me.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @TheRealRainfall
As in: this person gets full 'male privilege'. They also described themselves as a lesbian, which puts me on alert as "older person with testosterone and a penis is into women and I need to sexually guard against them". My relationship to them was the same as if they were male.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @TheRealRainfall
The problem is that you really can't know for sure when somebody is still presenting male. There could be a number of reasons why this individual was doing so. Maybe they only just started transition, or maybe they're stuck in a position where for one reason or another they 1/?
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don't have access to hormones yet. It can be extremely hard to get them. As far as being a lesbian goes, it's extremely unlikely that they would be a danger in any way. A large portion of MtF folks keep their original gender preference in regard to their partners. All that 2/?
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changes is the label their sexuality is given. If a male transitions to female and is still interested in women, then by definition they've gone from being straight to being a lesbian. Regardless. Without social transition that individual has a difficult life ahead if they 3/?
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Replying to @SpaceTransViv @TheRealRainfall
Sure, though I think you might be focusing on a different thing than me. I think two people's experiences can be incompatible and both extremely valid - my experience of this person has nothing to do with how important and valid theirs is. Their life can be very hard, or -
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @TheRealRainfall
they can have very good reasons for not transitioning, and this is fine and I'm not disputing that. But their reasons don't change the way I experience them. There's nothing about them that makes my hindbrain believe they will act differently than a typical cis man.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @TheRealRainfall
They are still going to experience an erection in response to my naked body, and I anticipate would be totally down for sex if I indicated that I maybe wanted it - which is something I *don't* assume about lesbian woman at all. They also experience people treating them as male,
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @TheRealRainfall
all the time - they probably don't get catcalled, and feel safer walking down streets late at night. This means they practically have a different experience in life than cis women do, which reinforces them inhabiting a 'male' category in my mind.
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and again: this is all entirely independent of their feelings or reasons for not transitioning or how much they want to inhabit a cis woman's experience. That all is valid and often very sad and I feel empathy for them - but my experience of them as male is also valid.
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