I think I don't 'believe' trans people who don't try to transition? Like I remember this guy started talking to me on the street - full beard, leather jacket, rugged 60 year old, 100% male presenting, and he said he was a woman. Like, maybe, but it sort of felt meaningless.
They are still going to experience an erection in response to my naked body, and I anticipate would be totally down for sex if I indicated that I maybe wanted it - which is something I *don't* assume about lesbian woman at all. They also experience people treating them as male,
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all the time - they probably don't get catcalled, and feel safer walking down streets late at night. This means they practically have a different experience in life than cis women do, which reinforces them inhabiting a 'male' category in my mind.
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and again: this is all entirely independent of their feelings or reasons for not transitioning or how much they want to inhabit a cis woman's experience. That all is valid and often very sad and I feel empathy for them - but my experience of them as male is also valid.
End of conversation
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