Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I suspect maybe my difficulty 'getting' nonbinary stuff is due to the strong lack of experience in my own life. I grew up in a world where being a woman was very shameful/got you treated worse, but that didn't mess with my gender identity. (cont)
4
28
Aella
@Aella_Girl
I've had a really masculine brain - e.g. my mom dressed me until I was 16 because I didn't care about fashion, I'm particularly analytical, and also aspergery. I've been extremely aware my mind isn't very feminine, but despite this I didn't get weird gender identity feels. (cont)
3
15
Aella
@Aella_Girl
I also don't mind when I'm misgendered. I sometimes pretend to be male online, I enjoy occasionally dressing in drag. I've played a very male role in all my same-sex relationships. Throughout all this, I never felt like I was nonbinary.
11
Likes
Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Sometimes people assume wrong, negative things about me because I present as female. Sometimes (often?) I am the subject of sexual attention where I feel objectified by men who I want to take me seriously. Sometimes it would be *really* convenient not to be a fuck object. (cont)
1
9
Aella
@Aella_Girl
All the above are reasons I've heard nonbinary afab people cite for why they're nonbinary, but it doesn't vibe with me. I don't understand what it means to 'feel like a gender' or 'not a gender.' I don't understand what the above reasons have to do with feeling like a woman.
2
30
Aella
@Aella_Girl
I think I'm a woman because other people seem to think I'm a woman, and the way other people see me seems like a useful thing to play along with. I don't have some woman-sense that exists independent of others, so in this way I deeply don't understand nonbinary people.
16
53