I suspect maybe my difficulty 'getting' nonbinary stuff is due to the strong lack of experience in my own life. I grew up in a world where being a woman was very shameful/got you treated worse, but that didn't mess with my gender identity. (cont)
Conversation
Replying to
I've had a really masculine brain - e.g. my mom dressed me until I was 16 because I didn't care about fashion, I'm particularly analytical, and also aspergery. I've been extremely aware my mind isn't very feminine, but despite this I didn't get weird gender identity feels. (cont)
3
15
I also don't mind when I'm misgendered. I sometimes pretend to be male online, I enjoy occasionally dressing in drag. I've played a very male role in all my same-sex relationships. Throughout all this, I never felt like I was nonbinary.
2
11
Sometimes people assume wrong, negative things about me because I present as female. Sometimes (often?) I am the subject of sexual attention where I feel objectified by men who I want to take me seriously. Sometimes it would be *really* convenient not to be a fuck object. (cont)
1
9
All the above are reasons I've heard nonbinary afab people cite for why they're nonbinary, but it doesn't vibe with me. I don't understand what it means to 'feel like a gender' or 'not a gender.' I don't understand what the above reasons have to do with feeling like a woman.
2
2
30
I think I'm a woman because other people seem to think I'm a woman, and the way other people see me seems like a useful thing to play along with. I don't have some woman-sense that exists independent of others, so in this way I deeply don't understand nonbinary people.
16
2
53
Replying to
I was never gay, but I understand gay. I was never an astronaut, but I understand space science.
Reason you don't "get" it is simple: Because it is irrational and does not make sense.
How do they know what it feels like to be another gender? The answer is simple: They don't.
1
1
Replying to
I don't want to assume they're irrational. My best theory right now is that they're using a frame to function, and I find that frame inconsistent. This doesn't mean they're irrational.
1
12
Show replies
This Tweet was deleted by the Tweet author. Learn more
? I grew up in a fundamentalist evangelical household where women weren't allowed to hold certain positions of authority over men and we were explicitly taught that we were less rational, less strong, and capable of leadership than men, and that we were designed to submit.
Replying to
"...world where being a women was shameful," That's very interesting, and sometimes I can't help but wonder if that's in the back of conversations I have with people from other backgrounds who seem almost desperate to believe men and women re the same.
1