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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
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@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    1. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 28 Jun 2019

      Sometimes I notice myself anticipating things out of people based on associations around them - not even consciously, it just emerges out of commonalities of interaction. For example, girls with blunt bangs and short haircuts tend to be artistic and queer.

      7 replies 0 retweets 34 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 28 Jun 2019

      Was I told this? Did I consciously decide this was the association? No - I just noticed one day that I had this association. What are some totally unconscious associations you have about people? I'm particularly interested in negative associations, or ones you use to avoid ppl.

      3 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 28 Jun 2019

      I ask cause I'm swiping on tinder right now and like 98% of it is just negative associations.

      2 replies 0 retweets 27 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 28 Jun 2019

      Interestingly they don't seem to be stereotypically consistent. I have a strong negative association with facial piercings and anybody who uses the word 'queer,' but neutral/slightly positive associations with trans people and cis men wearing women's clothes.

      3 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 28 Jun 2019
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      there's a lot of stuff you've been sharing recently that all points to the possibility that like everyone else (myself included)... you've probably got a lot of unlearning to do.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    6. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 28 Jun 2019
      Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben

      Maybe, but also maybe not. It's possible these associations were developed after repeated reinforcement.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    7. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 28 Jun 2019
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      it's also possible this "repeated reinforcement" is rooted in some sort of learned ignorance that you've been unconsciously carrying since before your original interactions with different kinds of people. the things we typically need to unlearn usually go pretty deep.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    8. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 28 Jun 2019
      Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben

      Again - possible, but it doesn't feel like a complete or satisfying explanation. For every negative association I have, there's a bunch more positive ones that *started out* with a negative association with that type of person.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    9. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 28 Jun 2019
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      To answer your original question: Dude-bro type guys, there's a strong negative association (grew up with tons of them, most were bullies) but more recently I've been meeting more and more of them who are truly the nicest guys, next level accepting, loving, anti-bullying etc

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    10. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 28 Jun 2019
      Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben @Aella_Girl

      Two birthdays ago, friends took me to see Tool at the Gorge; lots of dude-bros; I felt super out of place; if I hadn't decided to make an effort to "be friendly" and interact I wouldn't have learned how wrong my preconceptions of them were.

      3 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 28 Jun 2019
      Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben

      You're implying I don't do these things, that I don't make efforts to interact with people I have negative assumptions about. This makes me assume you have a really low opinion of me.

      5:24 PM - 28 Jun 2019
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 28 Jun 2019
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          I'm not implying anything about you; I'm sharing with you my own experience per your question.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Dr. Spacey B, PhD‏ @Space_Boy_Ben 28 Jun 2019
          Replying to @Space_Boy_Ben @Aella_Girl

          this is a story about me and my experiences with a "type of person" I tended to avoid and the conclusions I came to about my own life via this experience; it isn't about you at all. I don't know you well enough irl to have a high or low opinion of you as a person.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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