"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others." - Pema Chödrön
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This is partially why I feel so unsettled by the constant pressure towards positivity in hippie circles, or cleansing darkness from the internet (banning of r/watchpeopledie). The less we are in touch with our own pain, the less compassion we can hold for others.
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Surely there's a balance to be had? WatchPeopleDie was pretty extreme, graphic depictions of grisly sorts of death are hardly conducive to compassion. That community was pretty vile, in any case. Surely there are better formats, like ambulance documentaries and such?
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I regularly frequented r/watchpeopledie for years - the community was very not vile!
And I appreciated it for allowing access to an intense sense of horror and grief. An ambulance documentary wouldn't make me feel enough pain.
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I popped in now and then, and spotted quite a bit of chatter about "monkeys". Maybe I was just unfortunate. Still, I question the need for that sort of intensity, seeing that sort of thing on a regular basis would make me even more agoraphobic than I am now.
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Compassion is exactly the need for that intensity. I feel that by exposing myself to such horror, I'm better able to connect with other people who are going through intense pain. By protecting ourselves, we're shutting down an avenue of love.
The shit on watchpeopledie stopped having the proper extremity-touching effect I initially sought and became pornographic, reveling in a simulated extreme state which barely touches on reality. I uphold its value, though, and occasionally still visit liveleaks and its ilk.