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I see them at work. Also, see a show like Orphan Black. Popular media has to build characters that fit the preconceived ideas of the audience which limits them. Also, all the actors regardless of gender are much more beautiful that you average real life person.
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She's an FBI forensic scientist, not a computer programmer, but from the episodes of Blindspot I've seen, Ashley Johnson's character Patterson is realistic in a nerdly way. Not like, "nerd knob turned to eleven", but like she seems like an actual nerd not a TV character.