Conversation

One of the best conversations I've ever had near the start of a relationship was where we listed all the ways in which the other person failed to fulfill our needs. It gave us both realistic expectations of each other and more compassion when seeking fulfillment elsewhere.
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in my case this isn't the result. You can have long-term and super fulfilling relationships with people who don't fulfill all your needs. In fact, this is the default, even in monogamous relationships. And I don't want full emotional commitment to an idealized version of me.