One of the best conversations I've ever had near the start of a relationship was where we listed all the ways in which the other person failed to fulfill our needs. It gave us both realistic expectations of each other and more compassion when seeking fulfillment elsewhere.
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It's an exercise worth repeating as the relationship goes on. People change and find new interests. they relax more and show things that they don't in the early days. Or they stop doing things that they don't realize we're important.
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Having that conversation with someone or as someone that is insecure would be the catalyst to disaster, but if both people are confident and sure of themselves it seems like a really healthy thing to do 🤷♂️.
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"but those words unsaid
poison every next moment.
I will try to disappoint you
better than anyone ever has."
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in my case this isn't the result. You can have long-term and super fulfilling relationships with people who don't fulfill all your needs. In fact, this is the default, even in monogamous relationships. And I don't want full emotional commitment to an idealized version of me.
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I'm a beggar not a chooser. If somebody is willing to be with me, I'm running with it. I don't really have the luxury of having a conversation like that.
